Healing the Heart

Healing the Heart

What are you going to do when you feel like the world has turned its back on you? How do you smile when everything inside you is crying? What will you do when you're hurting? Are you just going to depend it on time to heal your wound? Some people would shop, they're the lucky ones because they have money to spend; some would go out with friends, or to a party or on a date; others would sulk and cry til they get tired then after awhile cry some more.

Each one of us has their own way to heal the heart and in my opinion, you can do whatever you want as long as it's not going to affect your family, your job and your health. If you wanna go out to meet new people then go for it. I don't think that it is bad if the "ex" is already looking for someone new. Not just because they hurt you, they don't deserve to be happy. Don't you remember that when you were together, you want him/her to be happy? So give him/her that chance. Everyone has the right to do what they know will help them move on but they must be sure that in the process, they are accepting and forgiving, not just forgetting it for one night. If you know what I mean.

Usually when I'm heartbroken, I would have my hair cut too short. In that way, much of my attention would be on my hair, either I liked it or I regretted it that I almost forget how hurt I am. At times, it inspire me to write (I do have an old blog account) but there are times I don't feel like doing anything at all. Sometimes, I would keep myself busy with work and chores til my mind is too tired to think while there are times I would hide in the bathroom to cry. I would pretend I washed my face and my eyes got irritated by the soap. Yeah, now you know. But a lot of times, I would go to church to pray and talk to God, then there are times I just sit there doing and saying nothing for hours.
So yesterday late afternoon, I was at my nephew's university and thought of going to their chapel while waiting for him from his 4:30 to 6pm class. I just sat there for like half an hour then I don't know suddenly I knelt and talked to Him. Halfway thru it I realized that I was actually like speaking to Him as if He is in front of me. I didn't know that anyone could be hearing me. Anyways, normally, one would pray to bring "them" back but me, I didn't. Not that I'm saying he still wants me or that I don't love him anymore but because I know I am the hindrance for him to have a real happy normal relationship. So I said to please make him not come back because for sure I will take him back. I mean it when I said that I want him to be happy and even if it doesn't make me part of it, the most important thing is he is happy. So that's what I prayed to God.

There are those that might raise their eyebrows on me... or say I'm hypocrite or "plastic" but nothing makes me happier if I know that the person I care about is happy. I will always be happy for a friend who got engaged or been promoted, got a new baby or gave a lost love another chance, being with someone they love. I choose to be happy. I may not want to live without him but I can surely live without him. So I am keeping my hair long. Life is too short to waste on negative things, to hold a grudge on someone you used to care so much.

Looking for love in all the wrong places

Looking for love in all the wrong places. 

I actually just read that in some free ad site while bored and browsing the net and it wouldn't leave my thought. It kept on coming back into my mind every time I have already forgotten about it while busy doing stuffs. I guess it's because I recently had my heart broken and the post made me realized a lot of things about love and relationship. One thing for sure is that I find it silly for the poser to say that and wondering if he is trying to say that "online" is the right place to find love. Erm, not that I find long distance relationship or "ldr" weird as I had been to one but is there really a right or wrong place to find love? 

I think we all create that idea to make an excuse for a failed relationship we had. Like for example, we met someone at a party and then it didn't turned out well, afterwards we would say that a party girl or boy will never make a great wife or husband because all they want is to party. So are you saying that just because they like to party, they're incapable of loving and will never be a good partner? What makes you believe that part of why the relationship failed isn't your fault? 

I have this friend who left her husband because she said, she had enough of their fights, misunderstandings. So she got out while he was at work and though the husband tried to talk to her, she refused to listen to whatever he has to say. When I was younger, I would often say, "go girl!" and rejoice for the "girl power" but later on, my views about relationship changed. I would feel happy whenever I hear a couple was able to save their marriage or relationship. Well, going back to my friend, so after awhile, she felt lonely and decided to give love another shot. Since she isn't really into bar thing and most of the people we know were either married or younger, she decided to join meetup sites. Out of curiosity, I looked at her profile to see what she wrote in there and had a laugh after I read the part of what kind of a man she wants to meet. She just totally described her ex husband... the characteristics, the reason why she actually fell in love with him when they were still dating. Yeah, I know because she told me years ago. 

So I'm thinking, is there really a specific place to meet the "one" for you? That you should avoid going to this place or better go to that place because only the best comes to it? I once almost got robbed by a decent looking guy... mind you, he was wearing a slacks and long sleeved shirt with a necktie. What I mean is that you can never tell how great a person is by how they dress nor live their lives. Until you've seen their worst then you'll know if that person is worthy or not. 

Like I always say to friends and acquaintances, sometimes when you feel like giving up on someone, try to remember all the reasons that made you love them. See their best points and forgive their wrongs. Anyways, no one is perfect. Always try to see good things though it doesn't mean you don't have the right to complain. If it's still worthy to save then why not go for it. If you believe that you'd rather part ways and find a new one, my advise is think of all the things you hated about that person and surely you will never looked back again.