What are you going to do when you feel like the world has turned its back on you? How do you smile when everything inside you is crying? What will you do when you're hurting? Are you just going to depend it on time to heal your wound? Some people would shop, they're the lucky ones because they have money to spend; some would go out with friends, or to a party or on a date; others would sulk and cry til they get tired then after awhile cry some more.
Each one of us has their own way to heal the heart and in my opinion, you can do whatever you want as long as it's not going to affect your family, your job and your health. If you wanna go out to meet new people then go for it. I don't think that it is bad if the "ex" is already looking for someone new. Not just because they hurt you, they don't deserve to be happy. Don't you remember that when you were together, you want him/her to be happy? So give him/her that chance. Everyone has the right to do what they know will help them move on but they must be sure that in the process, they are accepting and forgiving, not just forgetting it for one night. If you know what I mean.
Usually when I'm heartbroken, I would have my hair cut too short. In that way, much of my attention would be on my hair, either I liked it or I regretted it that I almost forget how hurt I am. At times, it inspire me to write (I do have an old blog account) but there are times I don't feel like doing anything at all. Sometimes, I would keep myself busy with work and chores til my mind is too tired to think while there are times I would hide in the bathroom to cry. I would pretend I washed my face and my eyes got irritated by the soap. Yeah, now you know. But a lot of times, I would go to church to pray and talk to God, then there are times I just sit there doing and saying nothing for hours.
So yesterday late afternoon, I was at my nephew's university and thought of going to their chapel while waiting for him from his 4:30 to 6pm class. I just sat there for like half an hour then I don't know suddenly I knelt and talked to Him. Halfway thru it I realized that I was actually like speaking to Him as if He is in front of me. I didn't know that anyone could be hearing me. Anyways, normally, one would pray to bring "them" back but me, I didn't. Not that I'm saying he still wants me or that I don't love him anymore but because I know I am the hindrance for him to have a real happy normal relationship. So I said to please make him not come back because for sure I will take him back. I mean it when I said that I want him to be happy and even if it doesn't make me part of it, the most important thing is he is happy. So that's what I prayed to God.
There are those that might raise their eyebrows on me... or say I'm hypocrite or "plastic" but nothing makes me happier if I know that the person I care about is happy. I will always be happy for a friend who got engaged or been promoted, got a new baby or gave a lost love another chance, being with someone they love. I choose to be happy. I may not want to live without him but I can surely live without him. So I am keeping my hair long. Life is too short to waste on negative things, to hold a grudge on someone you used to care so much.
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