Last Christmas I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave me away
This year to save me from tearsI'll give it to someone special
- Last Christmas, Wham
Eight years ago I wrote a story ("My Black Christmas", on my previous blogging site) about how I got "friend-zoned" on Christmas day 2006. At least on Wham's song, the guy got dumped the day after Christmas unlike on my case, the friend I had fallen in love with, whom I thought felt the same way towards me, told me on Christmas day (yeah so heartless) that he only see me as a friend. Well of course, that hurt a lot but looking back 9 years ago, I have to say that I'm glad that he did what he did because I realized we were really better off as friends.
(Tell me) I've got to know
Where do lonely hearts go
Because nobody ought to be
All alone on Christmas
- All Alone On Christmas, Darlene Love
The thing is, since that Christmas day I got friend-zoned, I had been alone every 25th of December. Well there was a time in 2009 when I had a boyfriend but he was already so drunk even before Christmas eve that when he got sober, it was 26th and I never did get a Christmas greeting at all. It was like I got cursed to be all by myself on Christmas day. Last year was a vast improvement (with a different much better boyfriend), despite we were apart but I wasn't really alone alone, if you know what I mean. Well better than nothing and thank God for the internet for without it, I won't get the chance to see and talk to him on Christmas day. I was so happy.
Sana ngayong Pasko ay maalala mo pa rin ako
(I hope this Christmas you will still remember me)
Hinahanap-hanap pag-ibig mo
(Still seeking your love)
At kahit wala ka na nangangarap at umaasa pa rin ako
(And though you are not here, I'm still dreaming and hoping)
Muling makita ka at makasama ka sa araw ng Pasko
(To see you again and be with you on Christmas day)
- Sana Ngayon Pasko, Ariel Rivera
I thought last year, having someone on that day had actually ended my Christmas curse but nope, it didn't. Yeah do I have to say it out loud that I'm going to be alone again this Christmas day? It sucks but looking on the bright side, being alone isn't new to me, I'm already used to it. Though I admit it would have been nicer if we're still together but after almost a decade, I have learned to accept that I must be fated to be single my whole life most especially on Christmas. I still feel so blessed though regardless I could be jinxed or not because I'm surrounded by people who loves me and will never leave me without a doubt -- my family.
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